I want to talk about marriage today. None is perfect but I think we've figured some things out over the years so I want to share what works for us if you might be struggling. Wanna know our secret?
First, listen to each other before (and above) anyone else. Don't put anyone else's opinions about your marriage before your own. Cleave onto each other. That is your spouse and should be the person you listen to first and who's opinions you should weigh most heavily. That's not to say ignore your needs or others' feedback if something is really wrong, but I'm talking to the people right now who have a solid foundation and good, emotionally healthy partners who (for a random and totally not real example) just might be listening too much to their girlfriends over too much wine!
Second, put all your chips on red. Go all in on your marriage like your spouse is the one and only person you chose to do this life journey with because guess what? You did, so lean in and love them all the way. What does this mean? For me, it's honoring and believing in my husband always. That's how a good man becomes great. Focus on a higher level if that's where you want to be. So, stop criticizing all of the surface level stuff about them or their habits. Don't make a big deal out of things like they don't do laundry. Who cares. What do they do well? Focus there and if your lists balance out then you're doing ok. If not, negotiate, but don't fight about silly things when life and love are rare and precious and never perfect.
Besides, why would you ever let the little things keep you from focusing on the big picture and even greater happiness? Again, this doesn't mean you can't find a lighthearted way of letting them know you might need some help around the house or with the kids or paying the bills, but pick your battles. Ask yourself can humor be applied to get the point across? Let your heart be light and think does this really matter before making a big deal. If it does matter, by all means, talk about it but with respect and love as you'd wish for the same.
Third, prioritize intimacy. No kids, no babies, no televisions, no internet. That's your spouse. That's your forever home. Take care of them. Love them. Give them your time. Never sacrifice intimacy. Dudes, if your lady wants some romance, give her some romance. Ladies, if your dudes want to make out more, make out more. It's fun and a great excuse to shave your legs. Turn on some good tunes and smooch already. And I don't want to hear it's hard to find the time. You've read this entire post, haven't you? Ok, then date night, make out to Scorpions love ballads, whatever floats your boat.
And intimacy can be found outside the bedroom too and I don't mean go make out in the truck. 😂 I'm talking about showing your partner how well you know them by doing cool stuff for them that only you know they'd love and appreciate. Dudes, show her you listened and that you know her. It's so hot when my husband does something for me that only he knows I'd like or need in a given moment. Funny how nitpicking the little things can cause the biggest problems when really we should focus on the little things that make each other feel good. Knowing is intimacy. Knowing is hot. Maybe I'll go make out with him in the truck after all.
I hope this helps. ❤️
