I'm 47 and I put myself first now. I drink water, eat better, take supplements, and use moisturizer a few times a day. I also don't smoke and rarely drink alcohol.
Don't get me wrong. I love a mimosa when visiting my mom or sharing a large Asahi with my husband on sushi dates or cheering the sunset with a cocktail when we finally have the chance to catch up with good friends. But, all in moderation, and my health and skin thank me for it.
I don't get in the car with a full bladder anymore as most moms often do. Moms, just pee already. You're worth the two minutes it'll take before driving across town for someone else.
And that's another thing.
I'm no longer in a hurry. I may hustle like a mofo but I have balance and won't rush or be rushed. I'm faithful that my hard-work and methodical multitasking will get the job done while allowing time for careful planning and creativity.
I take time for myself like never before, and do what I gotta do to rest, recharge and clear my head. My hub gets me and honors that and I do the same for him. So, if I don't feel like socializing and want to binge-watch netflix or spend an hour of quiet on my biomat instead, he is cool with that.
I don't do BS friendships anymore either. I don't hold on for the sake of history or anything else. I make and nurture real connections with real friends only. Life is too short.
What's a real friend? Someone who has your back as much as you have theirs, encourages you to grow rather than wanting you to stay exactly the same, and will tell you the truth and not just say what you want to hear. And there's zero guilt, drama, gossip, hierarchies or maintenance.
Who has time for that?
No, the only maintenance I do is on me. If I'm good, I can take care of others, especially my boys (men, actually--the strongest I know--and they deserve my best). Being a good wife and mom come easy if you prioritize yourself. Care for yourself first and everything else will fall into place, including love.
A lot has changed since my 20's and all for the better. I'm no longer in the business of pleasing anyone but myself and my little family. Everything else should be a cake-walk from there. If it's not, it's just not for me, and that ok.
How have you improved your self-care game over the years? Do you even recognize yourself? How's it getting better? What work is still left to be done? I need to get out for more walks. Maybe I'll do that starting today!